Extra Mustard: Back to School

Lamenting the Empty Nest

Photo by Emmeline T. on Unsplash

Yesterday, I moved my last child into the dorms for the first year of college. The experience is surreal but it’s also the perfect bookend to the life with your kid.

When the child is born, we are bringing him or her into the world. We meet at the hospital before moving the baby into a nursery, decorated to make the most welcoming environment. When we move the child into the college dorm, we are sending the child out into the world, decorating it to make the most welcoming environment.

In one scenario, we are committing ourselves to be the caregiver, provider, teacher, and helping to raise them to make good choices. In the other instance, we are moving out of those roles, trusting that we’ve done everything to prepare them to be adults we hoped they could be.

We step back. We are no longer the caregivers, the drivers, the providers, and the coach. We are now the Consultant. Our job is only to offer advice when asked. It’s a role with which I’ve struggled with my older child. My expertise is in an adult working environment while my wife’s expertise was with education. So, she’s had the opportunity to help guide them through school and get into college. As they get closer to life with job interviews, self-awareness, leadership, and results-driven culture in a workplace, I’m ready to step in and share exactly what needs to be done.

But that’s not my role. Unless I’m asked.

Wait, I have to sit on my hands and watch them make mistakes or take a harder route toward professional and personal fulfillment? I can’t tell them exactly how their resume should look or what to say in an interview? I can’t share the keys to creating a healthy balance?

Nope, unless I’m asked.

This would be really helpful to include in the parent manual. You know, the one they gave you at the hospital when you took this helpless baby home? The one that shared how to navigate classroom conflict, academic struggles, transportation management, and adolescence? We all got that manual right?

Oh wait, we didn’t. So, that means I’ll also have to navigate this stage not sure what to do and plodding through the best I can. I’ll look over to my wife and discover who we are in this new stage of our lives. I’ll navigate it all because I really don’t have a choice, do I? Life is a continuing tight rope, but there are different types of ropes, obstacles, and perils awaiting us. Thankfully, we also have nets; our spouses, friends, and yes, our children. That’s a part of this whole transition I’m looking forward to the most, a child as an adult friend who can provide advice back to me. I just need to be ready to ask for it.

Pretzel Bite: An Office Appreciation

After five years, I completed my rewatch of The Office, episode by episode. I started in 2019 when Jenna Fischer (Pam) and Angela Kinsey (Angela) began The Office Ladies, a quaint little rewatch podcast, adding behind-the-scenes tidbits, insights, and nuances that I never caught the first time around. For the first few months, it was a nice Wednesday morning listen as I began my workout routine. I remember those episodes had ad breaks but no ads. How quaint everything was.

Then we all know what happened next. There was lockdown. There was social distancing and the world went crazy. But the Office Ladies continued on in their closets on Zoom, continuing with hilarious anecdotes and tangental asides. For me, rewatching the Office became part of my weekly routine. (Monday afternoons: Log off work, pour a glass of wine, have a small bowl of Cheez-Its and watch the Office. I dare say my rewatch was the healthiest part of my routine.)

As restrictions lifted, I continued the rewatch, as Pam and Jim finally got together, were married, and began a family. We watched Michael Scott grow from a knockoff of David Brent (the first episode used the same script at the British version), to needy child to heartwarming success story. I learned from the podcast the high-level of writing the show enjoyed. Man times, what I thought was an ad lib was a written line in the script. Each episode filled with enough jokes to fill ten.

If I were to rewatch again, I’d watch Season 1 through Season 7 and go straight to the Series Finale (Season 9, Episode 26). We can forgo the Robert California mistake, the Andy petulance, the State Senator, Plop and Mini Dwight, and Sabre. Well, maybe I’d just add this scene. Also, I’d tell the Office Ladies to not drag out their final episodes of the podcast. It’s clear they want to continue on and they are dragging out the final seasons with revisits to rewatches and finding any way to keep the gravy train going.

Even with that exception, I’ve grown more appreciative of the show. I’m sad to be done with this five-year journey and now I’m looking for another rewatch. Any suggestions?

Next week: Taking the Week Off

Since April 2023, the Salted Wetzel has posted fiction, philosophy, writing journeys, and more. I’ve occasionally posted bonus content. But with the fifth Friday and the emotional transition to empty nesting, I’m going to take a breath, before returning Sept. 6 with the third installment of my Wedding Bells serial.