And now for your commercial break
It's the week shameless capitalism to take over my post
Welcome to Black Friday. Now that you’ve had your fill of football, turkey, and pie, you’re thinking about holiday gifts. In honor of the season, here is my version of snowy scenes, waking up to cars with bows, holiday proposals, happy children, and more.
Enjoy!
[Television Show fades out]
Commercial 1
[ Scene opens with a man in an ugly baseball-themed holiday sweater looking longingly out his living room window at a snow-covered front yard. A Christmas tree reflects in the window]
Wife: Oh honey, what’s wrong? You should be in the holiday spirit.
Husband: I know. We still have almost 100 days until Opening Day of the baseball season and I don’t think I can wait until then.
[Wife grins, then pulls a gift from the tree.]
Wife: Merry Christmas honey.
[Husband looks at wife quizzically before opening the gift. It’s a copy of the novel Lose Yourself by Vince Wetzel]
Husband: What? What is this?
Wife: It’s Lose Yourself, the award-winning and critcally-acclaimed novel from Vince Wetzel. Six separate stories of people finding their moment against the backdrop of a baseball game.
[Grandma stumbles in with a glass of egg nog]
Grandma: Oh I’ve heard about that book. It’s not just about baseball. These characters are navigating difficult family dynamics in their own lives.
[Wife chuckles] Right Grandma! Just like our own family.
[Wife, Husband, Grandma laugh]
Husband: Thanks. I’m going to read this now.
[Announcer] Lose Yourself is the perfect holiday gift this season. Lose Yourself is available on all major retail platforms that sell books, including Amazon, Bookshop.org, Barnesandnoble.com, and more. Or you can buy direct.
For A Limited Time: New LOW PRICE!
Commercial 2
[Characters flash across the screen as announcer talks]
[Announcer] Everyone has these friends: The big jock, the small ball of energy, the thoughtful introspective, the attractive jerk, and the regular guy next door.
[Scene swiches to the mountains, campfires with the characters, laughing, drinking, looking contemplatinve]
[Announcer] Follow this group of five friends as they go on the same trip for over 20 years. Watch as they grow from boys looking to drink beer and meet girls, to husbands, fathers, and mature men. Critics have called it “A stirring, inspiring celebration of friendship." Friends in Low Places will make you laugh and cry and remember those friendships that you’ve had the shenanigans that created who you are today.
Friends In Low Places is available on all book retailers, or you can buy direct.
Commercial 3
[Fade In on a morning kitchen table. A woman is drinking coffee and reading from a tablet. She laughs]
Husband: What are you reading that’s amusing you so much?
Wife: This Substack called Salted Wetzel with a Side of Mustard by Vince Wetzel.
Husband: Isn’t that the personal newsletter from the author of Lose Yourself and Friends in Low Places.
Wife: It is. Do you know he writes his fiction all set in the same world as his two novels. He also publishes reflections on quotes, called “Fridge Philosophy,” and shares updates on his writing journey, interviews authors, and more. Occasionally, he’ll publish flach fiction based on a public prompt. It’s a lot of fun.
Husband: Do you subscribe?
Wife: Yeah. It’s free, but if you sign up for a paid subscription, you get a signed copy of one of his novels as a thank you. Subscription is only $35 for the year.
Husband: Wow, that seems quite a value. Can I use yours?
Wife: Get your own subscription
[They laugh]
Commercial 4
[Fade In to a bookstore with a couple unsure of what to purchase]
Man: I don’t know what book to buy.
Woman: So hard. So many to read.
Man: I’d love to support those indie authors.
[Vince Wetzel walks into the scene]
Woman: Look it’s award-winning author Vince Wetzel.
Vince: There are plenty of great indie authors out there writing books for so many audiences.
Man: Oh yeah? Like Science Fiction?
Vince: Definitely. In fact, I’ve interviewed a few authors like Ricardo Andres, TO Burnett, or Robert Fike
Woman: I like authors that write multiple genres.
Vince: Well, then you should check out Kayla Hicks.
Man: I was thinking about a coming-of-age story.
Vince: Then you should look at J.C. Wesslen, Catherine Manett, or Ethan Hunt
Woman: I have a confession. I like a little spicy romance.
Vince: You want romance? I give you Joanne Kwan or Natasha Carter
And if you haven’t checked me out, I’ve released two novels myself.
Woman: Fun. Thanks. We’ve got some books to read.
Vince: You do. Support indie writers!
A Note of Gratitude
I’ve been posting Salted Wetzel with a Side of Mustard for nearly eighteen months. Bringing you this newsletter has been a welcome addition to my weekly routine. Not only has it afforded me the opportunity to meet new people, promote my books, and explore my writing journey, it has provided me with the space to play in a sandbox.
And you’ve been around for all of it. Thank you. More to come!