Bonus Fiction: A Tale of Interrupted Passion
Flash Fiction Story Prompt: A story where the protagonists are whispering
At the Fictionistas June Let’s Write Together, Nicole Rivera and
provided the following prompt:Write a story where the protagonists are whispering.
Why might they be whispering? Is it because what they are saying is a secret? Where are they — in a library, a cinema, a closed closet?
By Vince Wetzel
The thrill was the dark room, and the excitement of young love or lust.
“Won’t you parents come home?” Gilbert asked.
“No, they are gone for the weekend,” Carrie said. “That’s why they wanted me to stay at Bella’s. And while Bella is out at the movies, that gives us time to be alone.”
There is something magical about being alone with your girlfriend in her house for the first time, Gilbert thought. Every piece of furniture, picture, and odd trinket held an air of mystery for him. And the biggest mystery was beneath Carrie’s clothes. She promised that this was going to be a special evening and he was ready.
He had taken all of the proper precautions, bought the necessary contraception, asked his older brother all of the pertinent questions, groomed well – even down there – in the event that things went further than what she promised. He knew he had to let her take the lead, but he had to be prepared for all possible outcomes.
Carrie stepped up and looked playfully seductive into his eyes, then pulled him down to kiss her. His hormones kicked in and they both tried to ingest each other, pawing and kissing at one another, with a hunger unlike anything he’d ever felt. This is what they showed in movies, and it was all living up to his expectation.
Carrie broke their embrace just long enough to grab his hand and lead him back to her room. She giggled as she glanced down at his erection pushing against his pants. He was embarrassed, but the way she looked at him excited him more. Once inside her room, their mouths returned their connection, but now she was pawing at his shirt while he was unbuttoning her blouse.
This was happening.
“Mom? Dad? Carrie? Anyone home?”
Gilbert froze, his tongue still intertwined with Carrie’s. Their eyes, closed only moments before, sprung wide and stared at the door, hoping it wouldn’t open and they wouldn’t be caught in this stage of undress.
“Oh crap,” Carrie whispered. “It’s my sister, Maddison.”
“Isn’t she supposed to be at college?” Gilbert said. They retraced their steps of unbuttoning. Gilbert admitted to himself this wasn’t as much fun.
“Supposed to be, but she’s home I guess.”
As they finished, they raced to the door and put their ears against it, wondering how they could sneak Gilbert out. Carrie’s window was out of the question. It was long and rectangular at the top of the wall. The only way out was through the hall and out through the living room or through the kitchen, where Maddison had entered.
“Maybe I should just walk out?”
“No, she’ll be able to hold it over me for the rest of my life?”
Their whispers grew louder as their desperation grew.
“I thought I heard something,” came a male voice. Carrie and Gilbert looked at each other, their ears pressed back against the wall. “Maybe that’s your parents.”
“Hello?” Maddison said. “Carrie? You there? Nope. I don’t think my sister is here and my parents obviously not. Oh well, I guess you won’t get to meet them. I guess we can drive back to the dorms.”
“Or we could do something else?” the male voice said.
“Oh Scott, you’re so bad. You don’t know how my parents would flip if they found out I was having sex.”
“Well, they’re not here and wouldn’t it be hot to deflower your childhood bed,” Scott said.
“Deflower?” Maddison laughed. “First off, you are not turning me on by saying ‘deflower.’ Secondly, that ship sailed two summers ago. But, sure, since no one is home. Let’s go.”
“I knew it,” Carrie whispered. “There was one time I thought I heard moans coming from her bedroom when she was supposed to be studying with her boyfriend. “
“I just hope we don’t hear them now,” Gilbert warned. The last thing he wanted to hear was other people having sex while he was coaxing his erection down. But then again, if they were in Maddison’s room, then he could sneak out now. “Let’s get out of here.”
Carrie nodded. This was the best time to get out. When they heard Maddison and Scott’s voices and giggles through the wall, they slowly pulled the knob. The door creaked lightly. Gilbert winced. The giggles continued. They opened further. Less of a creak and it was almost open enough to slip through before they heard the front door open again.
“That was such a great dinner,” Carrie’s mom said. Gilbert closed the door quickly, but careful not to slam the door. “That lobster risotto was divine.”
“Fuck,” Carrie mouthed.
“I thought you said they were gone for the weekend,” Gilbert whispered. He also noticed the giggling next door had also ceased.
“Yeah, and that Chardonnay went down too easy,” Carrie’s dad said. “You enjoyed that too.”
“I did. Were you trying to get me drunk Bill?” Carrie’s mom asked playfully. “Was telling Carrie we were going to be out of town and to stay at a friend’s house all part of your master plan to have sex with me?”
“It’s been too long since we had a night like this. We needed it. But it’s too bad that the hotel had a bedbug problem and cancelled us. At least now we can be a couple of teenagers and have fun on the couch.”
“Oh Bill. You’re bad.”
“And you’re my bad girl Diane.”
Gilbert thought Carrie was going to throw up. Her face was green and her eyes wide. She moved away from the door and to the opposite end of her room. She shook her head. She did not want to hear what was going to happen. Strangely, Gilbert wanted to remain and listen, but knew he should comfort his girlfriend. He wondered what Maddison and Scott were doing.
“We gotta get out of here,” Carrie whispered, her eyes in deeper panic than when Maddison arrived. “I can’t be here for this?”
“How?”
“Crawl?”
Carrie shrugged. It would have to do. Gilbert bent down with Carrie on their knees and opened the door with a crack, expecting a creak. When it didn’t, they pulled back a little more.
Creakkkkk
Gilbert looked over. Carrie’s eyes were shut as the sounds of old people making out stopped. They were done for. He’d never see Carrie again, that is if he got out of this house alive.
“Oh my God, Eww.” Maddison stormed out of the room and confronted her parents. “Gross.”
“Maddison,” Diane said, surprised and embarrassed. “We didn’t know you were home.”
Gilbert and Carrie were both on the floor in the hall, but her parents hadn’t seen them. Maddison was also in the hall but facing the living room. Gilbert caught a look from Maddison, using her hand to shoo them out of the house on their hands and knees.
“Oh my god, get your clothes on,” Maddison said. “I come home from college, and this is quite a welcome.”
Gilbert and Carrie were almost in the clear and to the back door out of sight. Gilbert and Carrie looked back. Maddison mouthed “You owe me.” They both smiled.
“Oh, by the way, this is Scott. He wanted to meet you too, but not half naked.”
Gilbert didn’t hear Carrie’s parents’ response. They quietly opened the back door and sneaked out. When they were in clear and near Gilbert’s car, they both laughed hysterically.
“So, now you’ve met my sister.”
Let me re-introduce myself
Hello, thank you for reading this little Flash Fiction. If your new to the Salted Wetzel, or a long-time subscriber, know that I appreciate your time.
I created the Salted Wetzel to share fiction, inspirational quotes, stops along the author journey and more. Each Friday morning, a new post following this basic cadence:
First Friday: Short Fiction taking place in the FILP Universe. Starting with my first novel Friends In Low Places (2021) and continuing through Lose Yourself (2024), each month I post a 2000-word short story filling out this world with backstories of primary and secondary characters.
Second Friday: Fridge Philosophies. For the past six years, I’ve posted a quote a week on our refrigerator as a subliminal message to my teens. Along the way, I’ve learned about myself.
Third Friday: The CHOW. Alternating between thoughts on my own writing journey and interviews with other independent authors, the Clueless Hack on Writing is a space to share the trials and tribulations of being an author.
Fourth Friday: Extra Mustard or Pretzel Bites. It’s a hodgepodge of ideas. Most recently, I’ve been providing short reviews of different books, podcasts, streaming shows and more that I’ve consumed over the last month.
If you enjoyed this piece of flash fiction, feel free to check out these other bits and subscribe.