The Intern: Hangover Cure
Part 3 of Serial Fiction leading into the April 2 release of the novel Lose Yourself.
Hangover Cure is Part 3 of the five-part serial The Intern, which sets up the April 2 release of the novel Lose Yourself. (Read Part 1 and Part 2)
By Vince Wetzel and OT Press
His bladder was full.
Slight movements made him want to throw up.
His head pounded.
This was not how Javier imagined the morning of his 21st birthday to be. But as his body ached, his stomach was contemplating a revolution and his head was joining a rock band. It took him a moment to understand why he felt this way.
After last night’s A’s game, Javier came home to the apartment he shared with his roommate to see it filled with at least forty people.
“Hey everyone,” his roommate Marcos called when Javier entered the apartment. “Javi’s home. He is entering the last hour before turning 21. Don’t let him drink until midnight. Then let him have it.”
Javier shook his head. He didn’t want a party last night. The A’s still had a day game tomorrow, which he was working, before breaking for the All-Star Game. His plan was to have the big blowout tomorrow night. Marcos had other ideas.
And like always, Javier went with the flow. He abstained until 11:59 p.m. when Marcos gave him two solo cups with beer and led a countdown like Ryan Seacrest counting the ball down until midnight. When the clock finally struck twelve, the apartment went ballistic, and Javier chugged the two beers in succession. He would go strong early then fizzle out and go to bed.
But this morning, he understood the fallacy of that plan. With each beer, his willpower diminished, and he continued to consume, legally now. Now he was in bed, still a little drunk, very hungover and he had an hour to get to work for the final game before a three-day break. He didn’t know how he was going to get through the day.
First problem. Get out of bed.
He rolled toward the side. Each movement threatened to induce vomit. But he steadied himself. He just needed to put his feet to the floor. He took a deep breath and swung his legs around off the bed and moaned.
His moan was matched by another on the other side of the bed.
Javier’s eyes went wide before he slowly turned his head. On the other side was a woman with dark black hair. She looked a little Asian, but she could also be white. She was pretty attractive and yes, she was wearing his vintage faded Tupac t-shirt. That’s when Javier noticed he was only wearing underwear. He now had 45 minutes to get out of the house.
“Oh hey,” the woman next to him said as she stretched her arms above her head and yawned. He saw a halter top and some shorts folded over his desk chair in front of his computer. “Wow, that was a pretty wild night. Happy Birthday, right?”
“Yeah,” Javier said. He searched his foggy memories for any recollections of this woman in his bed. At least, maybe her name. “Crazy. Did not expect that.”
“I know, I was visiting my cousin Robbie who lives on the third floor, and he said you guys were having a party, so we came up. I can’t believe the cops weren’t called.”
“Right,” Javier said. Ok, he knew Robbie. They hung out a couple of times. He was a big A’s fan and pumped him with questions about A’s All-Star Brett Austen. A brief memory of his cousin began to come into focus. She was wearing a halter top, the same one hanging over his desk chair. But what was her name?
“How are you feeling?” she asked. “You drank a lot last night in a short amount of time.”
“Not good,” Javier said. He stood up and headed to his attached bathroom. He closed the door to relieve his full bladder. When he was done, he looked at his face. His eyes were bloodshot and his long curly black hair was strung every way. He needed a shower and he needed to get ready to get to work by 11 a.m. He needed to get this woman out of his bed. He needed to get to work.
He took a deep breath and exhaled, blowing out his cheeks before turning back to his room and opening the door. But first, he had to do a quick once over with the toothbrush. His breath had to be wretched.
The woman was standing with her back to him. She was wearing black lace panties, and she was pulling up her shorts. God, her ass looked great. She pulled off the t-shirt to reveal her bare back before putting on her halter top. A memory came back when he talked about being an intern with the A’s. She said she came to the opening and closing game of the year with her family, including her grandpa, who had cancer. Yes, he remembered it was a heartwarming story.
But what was her name? And did they do anything last night? He wished they didn’t but more because it was a memory he might enjoy for a long time.
When she turned back around, she smiled at Robbie. Though her makeup and hair needed some touchup, she still looked more beautiful than many on their best days. For sure, she looked much better than he felt.
“Robbie says a cup of coffee and a piece of bacon is all you need to alleviate the hangover,” she said. “It’s not a cure but it helps. You have any of those?”
Javier shook his head. He didn’t like coffee and the closest thing he had to bacon in his refrigerator was some leftover bacon mac n’ cheese he got at Costco last week. And the thought of eating it almost made him hurl in the moment.
He now had thirty-five minutes.
“So, you’re staying with Robbie,” Javier managed to say without burping. “How long are you staying?”
“I’m going back to UC Davis in a bit,” she said, pausing to emphasize the next part. “But I could come back sometime if you want.”
Javier smiled but reached back to massage his neck. It was time to come clean.
“You’ll have to forgive me,” he began. “I did have a lot to drink last night, but did we…?”
He left the insinuations up for interpretation and for this woman to fill in the holes as big as cavernous voids. She looked at him blankly, then her face furrowed like she was going to cry.
“You don’t remember?” she said, her voice quivering. “I wanted the first time to be special.”
Javier almost wretched in that moment.
“Oh shit,” he said. “I’m so…”
She bit her lip and then broke into laughter, covering her mouth and almost falling over onto the floor.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it,” she said. “No, we started to make out, but then you were so sloppy, I knew it wasn’t going to go well. You passed out pretty quickly after that and I just slept next to you to make sure you were ok.”
“Wow, thanks.” He felt relieved, but still could hurl at any time.
“I need to get going,” he said.
“Yeah, gotta go see Brett Austen,” she said. “So awesome. I can’t believe he’s got a batting average over .400 this late into the season. Has anyone had that high an average halfway through the season?”
“Tony Gwynn was at .383 in 1994. Williams was at .406,” Javier said. As cloudy as his hungover mind was, he could recite stats about a .400 average by rote. Austen was having a season that no one under 85 had ever seen before. His small internship with the small-market Bay Area team became a media storm each time Austen connected with the ball. He already knew he would remember this season for the rest of his life. Now if he could only remember her name.
“I do remember saying you’re going to be at the final game of the season,” he said.
“Depends on my grandpa’s health.”
“Right. Yeah. I remember that. But if you get back to visit your cousin earlier, maybe you could come when I have a day off and we can hang out.”
“That could be cool,” she said. She grabbed his phone off the end table and handed it to him. “You mind?
Javier unlocked the screen. She typed her information into his phone. More memories were beginning to form in his brain. He remembered that she tasted like cinnamon when he kissed her. Or was that fireball shots they both took.
She handed the phone back. She bit her lip. She was being flirty, and he didn’t have time to enjoy it. He was down to 30 minutes.
“I’m sorry. I really have to go. OK if you see yourself out? Then maybe we can connect when you come back?”
She nodded. “If you can remember my name,” she said. She smiled brightly but also teasingly. He tried to look at his phone, but she grabbed the hand that held it. She then grabbed the other hand and moved in closer, her body in front of his. He wished he had an hour. What was her name? He searched the fog, grasping for anything that could give him a hint. Each moment he couldn’t remember both amused and disappointed this woman.
He remembered something about the Raiders. They talked about the Raiders and her name. Why? Time was running out. He had only a couple of more seconds. Raiders, girl’s name. Was it a player’s name? Oh wait, the famous Heidi game. That’s it.
“Heidi,” Javier said.
Heidi’s smile told him he was correct. She swung her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Her eyes were closed, and her tongue darted into his mouth. He was so glad he remembered some random Raider reference from before his parents were even born. He was also thankful he did the quick once over with the toothpaste. She still tasted like cinnamon. It was her gum.
“Good job Javier,” Heidi said. “I’ll text you later. Now get ready for work.”
“I will,” he said and rushed to the bathroom to take a quick shower and wash this morning’s drunken escapades off him.
For some reason, he didn’t notice his hangover after that.
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