Leaving the Nest, Finding the World

Fridge Philosophy: From empty homes to open horizons, reflections on the joys, lessons, and unexpected empathy that come with traveling beyond California’s comfort zone.

Greetings from Victoria, British Columbia. In nearly 51 years on this earth, this is the first time I’ve been out of the country (except for that night in Tijuana in college, but I swear that never really happened.)

It is beautiful here. We took the three-hour ferry from Seattle, and as we docked, I could tell I was in a new place. Victoria is in Canada, but if you look Northeast from the tip you can still see Washington State. Unlike much of Canada, the temperature is closer to that of Seattle.

We have plenty of activities planned, but we are also looking forward to sitting and looking at the water in front of us. I write this in the little breakfast nook in the house we rented at sunrise, and I could grow to love this.

In the spirit of empty nesting and both offspring adults in the eyes of the law, it’s time to spread our wings. Discussing travel outside of California can be a little unusual for many people. I’ve been to Tahoe a dozen times. I can boast that I visited Disneyland when “resort” wasn’t attached to it and rode Splash Mountain, as well as visited Big Thunder Ranch. I lived in Los Angeles and the San Francisco Bay Area. Napa is an hour away from where I live. One child attends college in San Diego. It’s not like I’ve been cooped up within a mile radius of my hometown.

But travel outside the Golden State? I could do better. Our family visited New York, Philadelphia, and Washington, DC. I took my son to Zion National Park earlier this year, too, but I recognize that travel needs to be a priority in this next phase of life.

For one, it’s good for my health. In the article “7 Scientific Facts That Prove Travel Is Good for Your Health,” the writer points to several ways that travel can increase our well-being. For one, we’re likely to be active. Think about it. Even the most relaxing vacations that include a lot of lounging around the pool reading a book also include a lot of walking, or at least more than when you’re home. Another benefit? De-stress. Unless we’re taking work with us or making our vacation a job, the act of allowing ourselves to rest mentally has benefits.

In the world contained within our phones, toxicity has a way of erasing empathy. What is the antidote? Travel. How better to begin to understand others than to put ourselves directly in another circumstance. In this article, Why TRAVEL can foster EMPATHY: walking in another’s shoes.

“The decision to travel is a tacit agreement to open yourself to these new experiences and shows an active attempt on the traveller’s part to understand a world different from their own.”

But here’s the rub. Travel can increase our empathy IF we are willing to set aside our egos and open ourselves up to new cultures. We can’t expect others to conform their culture to fit our traveling needs. We need to have a basic knowledge of the norms and traditions, and be willing to spend. We also need to ensure that the infrastructure can accommodate our visit. We’ve seen citizens in several countries revolt against tourism. Why Are There Protests Over Tourists in Europe? Be aware and be open.

Finally, we can learn something. When we travel with curiosity, we enhance our overall enjoyment. In this article in Go Backpacking, 10 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Traveling, we learn not about the places we go, but about ourselves. We learn resilience when things don’t go right. We learn about different cultures and customs. We have the opportunity to expand our culinary palates. We create lasting memories that provide us with experience and confidence for further adventure. We also come in contact with so many different characters when we travel. Mark Twain utilized this to significant effect in his writing, and I’m inspired by it too.

Whether it is to the next county, the next state, the next country, or the next continent, I think the world would be better if we all took a trip. What are your plans this summer?

Side of Mustard

John Adams Rewatch

In honor American Independence Day, for the next eight weeks, I’m rewatching the 2008 HBO Miniseries on our second President John Adams, and his rise from humble Boston lawyer to a signee of the Declaration of Independence, to an envoy to Europe to gain French support, to the war years, the Vice Presidency, and the growing pains of a new nation.

This is a poignant time to rewatch this eight-part miniseries. As we grapple with the meaning of tyranny, freedom, and liberty, and the differences between rhetoric and integrity in modern America, we see the struggle of a new nation finding its way forward.

Episode 3: Don’t Tread on Me (1777-1781)

While the Revolutionary War rages on, John Adams is sent to Europe to secure France’s continued support for the effort. Ben Franklin is already there and has diplomacy dialed in, but let’s say that Franklin is a bit too enamored to the French from Adams’s perspective. Adams, in his impatience, lack of political aptitude, and cultural awareness, is soon rendered irrelevant and sent to Belgium, where he doesn’t fare much better and becomes delirious with fever. Meanwhile, Franklin shares a bed and a bath with Madame Helvetius, and his relations are key to French support.

What a contrast for Adams in this episode. In the previous episode, he was literally placing pig manure into the soil in preparation for the planting season. Now, he’s asked to leave his family (Abigail is not pleased) and take his son John Quincy across the Atlantic to wine and dine with the whigged and painted-up French aristocracy. No wonder, he’s frustrated with the pomp and circumstance.

Stateside, we don’t see much of the war. I was surprised that the show spent so little time on the war itself, though it makes sense if Adams was in Europe during this time. I know the future episodes will cover the formation of our new government. I’m looking forward to hearing how it all turns out.