What's the purpose?

Clueless Hack on Writing shares the WHY

Photo by Mark Fletcher-Brown on Unsplash

In 2019, I had just finished writing a 162,000-word first draft of my first novel Friends in Low Places. I did it! And I knew I still had work to do, but what was next? Well, publishing of course. But I didn’t know one thing about that world outside of I probably should have an agent and I couldn’t wait to get this sucker in print.

I did know one person who talked to writers all the time. My friend Rich Ehisen (Twitter: @wordsmithrich), author of The Open Mic and creator of the podcast of the same name (check it out), talked to authors and had at least a pinky toe in the pool. So, I called him and we went out to coffee.

Looking back, I was so naive. I even brought the spiral-bound printed first draft, thinking this will be impressive. He’ll give me a name of an agent. I’ll send the manuscript. I’ll sign. Get a book deal and soon I’ll be writing on the deck of my oceanfront home in Central California (yet to be purchased).

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Spoiler alert: This did not happen. But Rich helped put everything in perspective and gave me a needed reality check. Editing would be a bear. Getting an agent is really tough. There are only four-five big publishers left. And a reminder… agents, publishers are looking to make money. There are so many factors beyond the quality of the writing and story that go into publishing.

However, my conversation with Rich did not discourage me. In fact, his next question was an inspiration. He asked me, “What do you want to get out of this?” It’s a very simple question with layered and complex answers. Of course, I wouldn’t mind the cliffside home, sitting on the patio with a laptop and a cup of coffee in the morning or a beer in the afternoon. Sure, a book tour would be fantastic. Heck, making money would be great, given the amount of time it took to write it.

What do I want to get out of this? The most true answer? I wanted the book in print. At the end of the day, I wanted to have a product on my shelf that was quality and that was mine. I wanted to share this with friends, family, and strangers because Friends in Low Places is a very personal story that I think resonates with people. I wanted something on file at Amazon and at the Library of Congress that would stay there for the forseeable future. And along the way, I found a deeper why… I enjoy the process of writing. I love exploring stories that resonate and tell the human experience and I love how a kernel of an idea can manifest itself into 280 pages.

Finding a purpose and a why puts a focus on whatever you’re doing. It could be writing. It could be painting, sports or fitness. It could be a self-sustaining lifestyle that’s off the grid. Finding that why is the North Star that drives us to achieve.

What is your why?

Side of Mustard

• Next week, I’ll dive deeper into the milestones of aging, but I’m becoming more aware of today’s decisions and their implications on my future health. I’ve always been relatively healthy. I joined the gym when I was 23 and have never stopped going (though I took a couple of weeks off here and there). Currently, my cadence is about 3 times a week. But for most of that time, my exercise gave me the excuse to make poor food choices. I love hamburgers, steaks, Cheez-its, ice cream and beer and they were all part of my diet. But as I get older, I’m realizing that exercise won’t negate those choices. The run to In-N-Out just because I want to isn’t the best idea. Having a beer or two because it’s Tuesday and it’s in my fridge won’t aid my brain health. A few sips into a regular Pepsi and I understand I’ve made a bad life choice. No, it’s time to make a mind shift to longevity, not just today’s simple pleasure. So, in 2023, I made several new choices:

  • Every day there is some kind of movement to start the day. I still go to the gym three times a week. But the other days I do an online 15-minute workout/movement. Sometimes it’s an intense cardio workout. Other times it’s stretching. Once a week, I do 15 minutes of Tai chi. I’m also trying to add in some mid-day stretching to keep the blood flowing during a seated desk work environment.

  • I’ve reduced alcohol intake. Last year, I think I averaged around eight alcoholic beverages a week, a glass of wine after work, maybe a couple of beers watching a game. Too much! My goal in 2023 is to be below 200 drinks for the year, which averages out to just under 4 drinks a week. I’ve noticed that I’ve had to make intentional choices. If I’m meeting a buddy to watch a game, perhaps I don’t reach for a beer while grilling. Since my wife doesn’t drink red wine often, maybe I don’t open a bottle just because we’re having spaghetti. I’ve learned that Spindrift Sparkling Water (particularly Grapefruit) is an alternative to a beer at the end of the day and that NA beers have gotten better recently.

  • I’ve taken to having fruit for dessert. Still sugar, but I hope that ice cream, brownies, cookies are only rare treats and not a staple. I haven’t found the trick to my addiction to Cheez-Its. Maybe cutting out this colon cement (Thank you Jason Bateman) is my next frontier.

  • These choices come down to intentionality. Actively choosing sets up ownership and therefore control over those choices. Taking control allows self-accountability, which leads to greater opportunity for success.