The Inside Track with Alex Shelby: Leave the hate to the professionals
Alex Shelby thinks you should stop before you hit post
Alex Shelby is the fictional columnist of the Sacramento Tribune and the subject of the upcoming novel, Landslide, releasing in 2027. The views and opinions of Alex are entirely his own and do not reflect the opinions of Vince Wetzel, Space Between, or Substack.
By Alex Shelby, columnist for the Sacramento Tribune
I long for life before the digital gold rush. It was simple. My only competition for California’s biggest crank came from a fellow columnist at the LA Times and Oscar the Grouch.
Now? Every amateur who possesses functional thumbs and a Gmail account can spew whatever bile they want. No wonder the Republic is circling the drain like the final peas from dinner.
There was a time when being a columnist meant something. It required a shield of steel and prose to match. There were titans like Jimmy Breslin or Leonard Pitts. Even the establishment scribes like George Will, Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, and the sentimental sports hack Mitch Albom sometimes produced flashes of brilliant writing. They were worth the ink and paper they were printed on.
But then came the internet. And worse, its toxic waste offspring: social media. And when the leader of the free world communicates with UNPUNCTUATED ALL CAPS, I wonder if I should just end it all now, don an apron, and start scooping mint chocolate chip at Gunther’s in the summer Sacramento heat. Even a brain freeze comes with a side of sugary delight.
The trouble is that the modern digital rant has the depth of the cardboard alphabet kindergarten teachers tape above the blackboard. They are primitive, reductive, and entirely unburdened by facts. They are the regurgitated cable-news rhetoric captured on an iPhone by users who leave enough holes in their arguments for their limitless egos to fill.
And that’s just the written garbage. Since “reels” have infected the world, my screen is a cesspool of human intelligence. I’ve seen enough suburban “analysts” sitting in the front seats of their SUVs in aviator sunglasses who have never caught a glimpse of a cockpit and spewing simplistic Middle East geopolitical policy to wonder if we could solve carbon emissions by harnessing all their hot air.
By the way, why do these reel-spewing critics always record from the front seat of the car? Or walking on a trail? Or staring off into the distance and drinking a cup of coffee? Why does my algorithm treat me to this steady stream of performative degenerates?
I’ve bled and have literally risked my life to have my name above the fold on the front page of the Sacramento Tribune. (For those of you under the age of 30, there used to be these physical objects made of dead trees, not something you scrolled every moment you were threatened with boredom.) Now, my editors label my words as “content.”
Every piece I report, verify, and cross-reference is now thrown into the same digital cesspool with a teenager performing the latest TikTok craze and some influencer spewing the latest conspiracy theory about how dog-eating aliens met with Russian influencers in a pizza parlor to plan the next insurrection.
We just celebrated 250 years of this grand American experiment. Imagine if Thomas Paine’s Common Sense were dropped as a meme. Or if the Declaration itself was pushed out on X with 25,000 comments declaring Paul Revere a classist, or sharing Ben Franklin’s bar tab in Paris.
There is value in scarcity. Just because the First Amendment grants you the absolute right to speak your mind, it doesn’t mean you have an obligation to broadcast your profound ignorance to the planet. Just shut up and read a book. Better yet, read a newspaper.
Alex Shelby is on the verge of a Landslide
We first met Alex Shelby in Capitol Rookie, an 11-part serial set in 2004 and first published on Substack in 2025, and now the anchor of the anthology, Space Between. More than 20 years later, Alex is on the precipice, his underlying cynicism and distrust threatening to bring down his career, his marriage, and his relationship with his son.
Landslide releases Spring 2027!
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